Still, I remain tied to the mast

[kleenexwoman]

I'm technically not supposed to be online tonight. I'm supposed to be concentrating on the essay on the function of heroes in ancient Greek epics that is due TOMORROW, and for once I didn't just forget about it, it was assigned to me yesterday after an extended passive-aggressive argument with Koper over the following subjects:
--Whether there was a difference between "social" and "societal" (answer: YES, YES THERE IS--"societal" is what you do and the role you fulfill, "social" is how you do it and how you interact with others)
--Why fictional heroes are different from real heroes (answer: fictional heroes are, for the most part, monster-slayers, and real heroes are, for the most part, peacemakers--the two function very, very differently)
--Why ancient Greek heroes are very different from modern American heroes (answer: ancient Greek heroes were exemplars of the social code of honor, brotherhood, and vengeance, and American heroes are exemplars of "fuck the system, man")
And now I have to write that up in a formal essay with citations.

Also anivad tagged me for this thing. Whoo.

Guilt	What is yours?	Explain yourself
Culinary:	Little Debbie Fudge Brownies	Knowing that I like my chocolate, Kathryn bought me a whole box of these for Valentine's Day. They're filled with empty calories and carbohydrates, but they're really not so bad if you microwave 'em for fifteen seconds and wash them down with some milk you snuck out from the cafeteria (I'm reduced to stealing 2% milk in an insulated cup, what have I come to?).
Literary:	Reading "Quicksilver" over and over and over.	It's just so GOOD! Weird gay Isaac Newton and his unrequited love intellectual sidekick, Daniel Stephenson Marty Stu-family Waterhouse! Syphilitic vagabonds who are missing their yards getting finger-fucked by Qwlghmian harem girl economists! Extended Stephensonian rants on science and the mechanistic universe!
Audiovisual:	"Keeping the Faith".	It's a cute little romantic comedy with Ben Stiller as a rabbi, Edward Norton as a priest, and some blonde girl who's related to Danny Elfman. And they have a threesome. Well, no, they don't, but it'd end much better if they did.
Musical:	"Hungry Like the Wolf," Duran Duran	nyghtshayde sent me two CDs of "Alpha's Songs to Fuck By," and this was on it, and I can't stop listening to it. Werewolves are sexy, and music is sexy, and songs about werewolves are really sexy.
Celebrity:	I want Crispin Glover to have sex with Jeff Combs on the set of "Wizard of Gore." Does that make me a bad person?	I REFUSE TO APOLOGIZE. La la la, Courtney Peldon doesn't exist.

Comments

[lily-lemony.livejournal.com]

I want Crispin Glover to have sex with Jeff Combs on the set of "Wizard of Gore." Does that make me a bad person?

I don't think Alice would think very highly of this arrangement either. :) You made me snort all over my computer screen, you silly girl.

BTW, Little Debbie is the devil. Her snack cakes are so filled with chemicals, I get sick even looking at one. Ick.

Duran Duran...

[wolf-heart9.livejournal.com]

...is sexy music. There's just no escaping Simon LeBon's voice. Ever.

What do you think of The Chauffeur?

[ghostgecko.livejournal.com]

She's Danny's nephew Bodhi's wife (bro Rick's older son) so she's not a blood relative . . . clearly.

And if that makes you a bad person, I guess I'll save a seat for you in whatever circle of hell I end up in.

[josephwaldman.livejournal.com]

I first read "culinary" as "coronary." Weird. Or maybe not. I need to go pop some nitroglycerin now.

(And to all male readers out there who want some quick amusement via a snide sexist joke, remember always that there are only six things that a woman really wants: chocolate, stuffed animals, flowers, diamonds, orgasms, and having things purchased for them. So the ideal Valentine's Day gift for your snuggly-wuggly would have been an overpriced, diamond-studded, rose-scented, chocolate-dipped teddy bear with a battery pack so that it can also serve as a vibrator. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go run and hide before kleenexwoman wallops me in the gonads with a ten-pound psych textbook.)