News Items From Rachel's Fantasy World
Jul. 22nd, 2005 03:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kleenexwomanToday in the news:
Author Neil Gaiman announced today in his weblog that he has an impacted molar. After some cursory jokes about the state of English dentistry, he asked his squealing fangirls and fanboys not to worry, and added that he will be seeking treatment in the next week from a dentist who “is very good and treats all the Hugo winners. Of which I am one.” He also outlined plans to write a short story called “The Tooth Demon,” based on the episode, in which “my tooth will be infested by demons, and the dentist will really be a medieval exorcist!”
Author Stephen King denounced Gaiman’s recent impacted molar episode as “plagiarism,” claiming that his planned short story is a rip-off of “The Demon Tooth,” a short story King wrote several months earlier that was inspired by his own nightmarish trip to the dentist. Gaiman denies the claim, but has made plans to change the focus of his own story to the Tooth Fairy, and is collaborating on it with writer friend and Discworld creator Terry Pratchett.
Director Tim Burton has announced his intention to make a Claymation film out of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett’s short story “The Tooth Fairy Demon.” To the disappointment of many fans, composer Danny Elfman will not be doing the score. Tim and Danny cite “creative differences,” but a person who wished to remain anonymous says that “Tim told Danny a really scary bedtime story about tooth demons, and Danny got freaked out because he’s always been afraid of his own teeth.” The couple is expected to have kinky makeup sex sometime in 2008.
While doing research for his the film, Burton recently encountered the ire of a group of orthodontists. The orthodontists claim that Tim’s movie is “totally inaccurate—even the most diseased teeth don’t have black and purple stripes!” and urge Tim to reconsider his design. In a press conference, Tim mumbled, “Fuck you, I’m Tim Burton and I have a whimsically morbid imagination and my own production studio and I can do what I want.”
Comic artist Jhonen Vasquez has agreed to work with author Stephen King on an adaptation of his short story, “The Demon Tooth.” Vasquez says that the title of the comic will be changed to “The Spooky Demon Moose Tooth Of Doom,” and will come out in the next year. He also asks fangirls to refrain from sending him their teeth, but says that naked pictures and dental X-rays are OK. When asked for a comment, King said, “This should make just as much money as that stupid movie—but of course I’m only doing it to express myself with Jhonen.”
Director Kevin Smith announced on his website, moviepoopchute.com, that he has plans to direct another Jay and Silent Bob movie. This one, the sixth in the series, will be called “Jay and Silent Bob Go to the Dentist.” Smith says that it will focus on his characters “as they grow older and have to seek dental care. It’ll be more serious than the first five, but I’ll still put in a lot of gay jokes. Also, there’s a serious discussion on the subject of medical marijuana. Um, very serious. Yeah.” He admits to being very inspired by Neil Gaiman’s account of his impacted molar, but says that his real inspiration for the movie is “some of my relatives who have false teeth, so I kind of know what it’s like, right?” He hastily added that he has never even had to have a cavity filled himself.
Actor Crispin Glover says that he is “dissatisfied with the way the mainstream counterculture media currently portrays dentistry work.” To remedy this, he has plans to direct an independent movie about “impacted molars, Communism, and more dead snails again.” He says, “The movie’s cast will consist only of people who don’t actually have any mouths,” a minority group that Crispin feels “has been ignored by the orthodontic profession at large, and by most of mainstream America.” The movie will come out in approximately five years, barring lack of funds.
A Big Name Fan, who asked that her name not be printed, has been accused of faking an impacted molar on her weblog in order to get sympathy and money. Fans of the BNF say, “Her teeth really do hurt, and she doesn’t have enough money for an operation—she needs you to give her a couple thousand dollars, and she also needs all the love and support she can get in this very emotional time.” Critics of the BNF say that “she just wants attention, and her teeth are in perfect shape! She’s jumping on the impacted molar bandwagon because it’s popular.” The case is being reviewed at fandom_wank, where registered users and anonymice alike have been making icons of sparkly ninja pirate dancing molars who are ded from coke.
Author Neil Gaiman announced today in his weblog that he has an impacted molar. After some cursory jokes about the state of English dentistry, he asked his squealing fangirls and fanboys not to worry, and added that he will be seeking treatment in the next week from a dentist who “is very good and treats all the Hugo winners. Of which I am one.” He also outlined plans to write a short story called “The Tooth Demon,” based on the episode, in which “my tooth will be infested by demons, and the dentist will really be a medieval exorcist!”
Author Stephen King denounced Gaiman’s recent impacted molar episode as “plagiarism,” claiming that his planned short story is a rip-off of “The Demon Tooth,” a short story King wrote several months earlier that was inspired by his own nightmarish trip to the dentist. Gaiman denies the claim, but has made plans to change the focus of his own story to the Tooth Fairy, and is collaborating on it with writer friend and Discworld creator Terry Pratchett.
Director Tim Burton has announced his intention to make a Claymation film out of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett’s short story “The Tooth Fairy Demon.” To the disappointment of many fans, composer Danny Elfman will not be doing the score. Tim and Danny cite “creative differences,” but a person who wished to remain anonymous says that “Tim told Danny a really scary bedtime story about tooth demons, and Danny got freaked out because he’s always been afraid of his own teeth.” The couple is expected to have kinky makeup sex sometime in 2008.
While doing research for his the film, Burton recently encountered the ire of a group of orthodontists. The orthodontists claim that Tim’s movie is “totally inaccurate—even the most diseased teeth don’t have black and purple stripes!” and urge Tim to reconsider his design. In a press conference, Tim mumbled, “Fuck you, I’m Tim Burton and I have a whimsically morbid imagination and my own production studio and I can do what I want.”
Comic artist Jhonen Vasquez has agreed to work with author Stephen King on an adaptation of his short story, “The Demon Tooth.” Vasquez says that the title of the comic will be changed to “The Spooky Demon Moose Tooth Of Doom,” and will come out in the next year. He also asks fangirls to refrain from sending him their teeth, but says that naked pictures and dental X-rays are OK. When asked for a comment, King said, “This should make just as much money as that stupid movie—but of course I’m only doing it to express myself with Jhonen.”
Director Kevin Smith announced on his website, moviepoopchute.com, that he has plans to direct another Jay and Silent Bob movie. This one, the sixth in the series, will be called “Jay and Silent Bob Go to the Dentist.” Smith says that it will focus on his characters “as they grow older and have to seek dental care. It’ll be more serious than the first five, but I’ll still put in a lot of gay jokes. Also, there’s a serious discussion on the subject of medical marijuana. Um, very serious. Yeah.” He admits to being very inspired by Neil Gaiman’s account of his impacted molar, but says that his real inspiration for the movie is “some of my relatives who have false teeth, so I kind of know what it’s like, right?” He hastily added that he has never even had to have a cavity filled himself.
Actor Crispin Glover says that he is “dissatisfied with the way the mainstream counterculture media currently portrays dentistry work.” To remedy this, he has plans to direct an independent movie about “impacted molars, Communism, and more dead snails again.” He says, “The movie’s cast will consist only of people who don’t actually have any mouths,” a minority group that Crispin feels “has been ignored by the orthodontic profession at large, and by most of mainstream America.” The movie will come out in approximately five years, barring lack of funds.
A Big Name Fan, who asked that her name not be printed, has been accused of faking an impacted molar on her weblog in order to get sympathy and money. Fans of the BNF say, “Her teeth really do hurt, and she doesn’t have enough money for an operation—she needs you to give her a couple thousand dollars, and she also needs all the love and support she can get in this very emotional time.” Critics of the BNF say that “she just wants attention, and her teeth are in perfect shape! She’s jumping on the impacted molar bandwagon because it’s popular.” The case is being reviewed at fandom_wank, where registered users and anonymice alike have been making icons of sparkly ninja pirate dancing molars who are ded from coke.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-22 07:31 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-22 08:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-22 08:31 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-22 08:38 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-22 09:44 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-22 11:28 pm (UTC)Unda da sea,
Dat's wheah I smoke
Alla mah dope,
Unda da sea.
-- a very stupid song I used to sing with my gang in college back when I was a bad widdle boy
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-22 11:16 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-23 01:14 am (UTC)And-and-and... I'm not sure whether to laugh or fall down.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-23 01:22 am (UTC)I totally suggest that you laugh, because falling down hurts. Um...well, you know that.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-23 01:33 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-24 12:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-24 02:45 pm (UTC)JW, who used to be a journalist but is all better now
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-24 03:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-24 03:16 pm (UTC)