perspective

[kleenexwoman]

Ironically, college is making me intellectually stagnant. I no longer process any new information, instead going over old ideas ad infinitum until every possible connection and perspective is completely worn to shreds. I don't even read the newspaper anymore because I don't have time in between classes. I am completely and totally uninformed about the world in general. College is putting a layer of insulation between the immature intellectual and social wankery of the campus and the actual real world, where things get done and ideas are born.
I can't even talk anymore. I take notes and absorb things and mentally treat the other person like one of my professors. If I do say anything, it's either reactionary disagreement, a completely irrelevant personal anecdote, or vague reassurance. I'm socially passive and disappointing.

I have no idea how to change this. Is there anyone out there who knew me when I was interesting? Do you remember what I was like?

Comments

Hey!!!!

[wolf-heart9.livejournal.com]

I think you're interesting. I think you're loads interesting.

Re: Hey!!!!

[kleenexwoman.livejournal.com]

Thank you. But you're interesting too, and that kind of makes up for it.

Re: Hey!!!!

[wolf-heart9.livejournal.com]

Well, thanks. :) Of course, it's funny. You're already burning out, and I'm itching to possibly go back to school. Thing is that I don't know what I want to be when I grow up other than a writer, which I'm already doing. Though Jeff's told me that I need to just keep getting the grants and become a professional student. LOL

[evillunch.livejournal.com]

You're one of the most interesting people I know. That sucks, but I guess it's a relief to know I'm not the only one who feels suffocated in college..

[kleenexwoman.livejournal.com]

Thank you.
And so many people I talk to now really do dislike college. I thought it'd be mentally freeing--all those wise professors and interesting students. Well, some of the students, anyway (cough Fiction Collective cough). Very strange. Maybe it's because I'm in the middle of nowhere here--maybe if I'd gone to U of M with all the hippies, I'd be more intellectually stimulated.

[vicfitz82.livejournal.com]

this is your first year, right? I think it will get better after your second year.

Or, it won't.

I've stopped writing in my LJ as much as i used to because I know I'm not interesting any more.

[kleenexwoman.livejournal.com]

Yep, freshman. Did it get better in your second year or are you just guessing? And for what it's worth, many of your posts are quite interesting.

[vicfitz82.livejournal.com]

My second year was actually my roughest, but it got better afterwards. I don't know how it got better, but for some reason everything came a little easier. Perhaps it's just one of those anxieties that gets phased out with age?

Anyway, I can't say it'll get better for you after next year, but maybe you'll just get used to it. And perhaps that's all that matters?

I guess I need to take my own advice, sometimes, and just stick with things. I always feel like quitting when things get tough, but that's not how to make progress.

[theratman.livejournal.com]

Colour me surprised. People always say college is the "real world" but it's not. It's just school again and school isn't what it's like. But I imagine things will start working in your brain when you finish college. Or you could just turn to drugs like everyone I know. We're not smart but at least we think we are. Uh... that was a joke. Sort of.

[kleenexwoman.livejournal.com]

Actually, I'm more worried that I'll be even more bored and brain-dead when I finish college. If I'm stagnanted like this in what's supposed to be such an intellectual environment, what's going to happen when I no longer have the little network of classes and workshops?

Well. If I start taking drugs I might have a good excuse. But that'd probably just exacerbate the situation that's already there. I could pretend to take drugs, do you think that would work?

[theratman.livejournal.com]

Or you could just pretend to be a genuis. Or maybe you really are a genuis and my advice just really sucks. :/

[kleenexwoman.livejournal.com]

Would be nice to think I was a genius. I don't really show it, though, so I have no excuse for acting like one. Eventually people would catch on and I would be run out of town on a rail.

It's a good way to excuse eccentricity, though. Apparently, it's perfectly OK to be weird as long as you can make up for it by being useful and making pretty things.

[baberfied-world.livejournal.com]

Yo.

Everybody has downtime - you can't feel prolific all the time but don't dwell on it. Personally i blame the internet - it's the new 'television'!

Try absinthe!

-The baberfied world
(who always look out for their fans!)