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kleenexwomanA friend of mine recently had dinner with a guy who used to work for the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit (yes, the "Criminal Minds" people, and he likes the show--says it's accurate except that they don't get private planes and big black SUVs, everything is economy class). The gentleman in question is extremely relaxed and jokey about his time in the BAU, despite his very close contact with serial killers (including the BTK killer, Son of Sam, and the Zodiac killer) and other scum--I suppose you'd have to be. Apparently he joined the army on a whim, quit, applied for the FBI, got into the BAU, got bored, quit, and started his own consulting firm. A couple of stories that I thought were interesting:
The Albanian government asked for a BAU personnel loan, having discovered a cut-up body in a sack in a river and not being sure how to deal with it. So the gentleman flew over on a public airline, economy class, only to find that the people working on the case had not done an autopsy, but had instead sewn the corpse back together...all wrong and mixed-up. So he had to bring it back to America for autopsying.
"Do you know how much paperwork it takes to fly a corpse back to America on United Airlines?"
When he got back to the United States, they did an autopsy and hit a dead end for a while. One day, while comparing stories with a cop friend of his, he mentioned that he'd had to go to Albania. "Hmm," the cop friend said. "Funny you should say that. We had a fugitive we think is in Albania...guy chopped up a body, put it in a sack, and threw it into the Hudson River..." The killer was found within a week.
One man he interviewed had robbed a bank with his brother and a few friends. His brother had gotten extremely drunk, so the man had tossed him into his bedroom to sleep it off. The next morning, the man had come down the hall with his gun out--
"You had your gun out?" the interviewer asked.
The man shrugged. "Eh, we shoot at each other all the time, you know?" He'd found his brother rolling around on the floor, hungover, aiming his gun at the man. So he shot him in the chest twice. "It was him or me." Deciding that his brother was "in bad shape," he then shot him twice in the head.
Then, he and his friends buried the body in the backyard and went out for a beer.
"Why didn't you call an ambulance, if he was in such bad shape?" the interviewer asked, and the man thought about that.
"Hmm...that's a good one."
*
also, my little brother saw a guy get decapitated. He works at a large chain hardware store (his girlfriend works in a competing chain hardware store directly across the street--they meet each other on lunch breaks), and is learning to drive the forklift. While training, he noticed a guy who was trying to take metal off the moving forklift, and stopped the forklift and warned him not to. "Dude," the guy said, "I'm okay." Brian stopped the forklift, as he was taught, and then some sheets of metal slipped off of the forklift and cut the other man's head off.
The accident was ruled to be not his fault. He seems unfazed.
The Albanian government asked for a BAU personnel loan, having discovered a cut-up body in a sack in a river and not being sure how to deal with it. So the gentleman flew over on a public airline, economy class, only to find that the people working on the case had not done an autopsy, but had instead sewn the corpse back together...all wrong and mixed-up. So he had to bring it back to America for autopsying.
"Do you know how much paperwork it takes to fly a corpse back to America on United Airlines?"
When he got back to the United States, they did an autopsy and hit a dead end for a while. One day, while comparing stories with a cop friend of his, he mentioned that he'd had to go to Albania. "Hmm," the cop friend said. "Funny you should say that. We had a fugitive we think is in Albania...guy chopped up a body, put it in a sack, and threw it into the Hudson River..." The killer was found within a week.
One man he interviewed had robbed a bank with his brother and a few friends. His brother had gotten extremely drunk, so the man had tossed him into his bedroom to sleep it off. The next morning, the man had come down the hall with his gun out--
"You had your gun out?" the interviewer asked.
The man shrugged. "Eh, we shoot at each other all the time, you know?" He'd found his brother rolling around on the floor, hungover, aiming his gun at the man. So he shot him in the chest twice. "It was him or me." Deciding that his brother was "in bad shape," he then shot him twice in the head.
Then, he and his friends buried the body in the backyard and went out for a beer.
"Why didn't you call an ambulance, if he was in such bad shape?" the interviewer asked, and the man thought about that.
"Hmm...that's a good one."
*
also, my little brother saw a guy get decapitated. He works at a large chain hardware store (his girlfriend works in a competing chain hardware store directly across the street--they meet each other on lunch breaks), and is learning to drive the forklift. While training, he noticed a guy who was trying to take metal off the moving forklift, and stopped the forklift and warned him not to. "Dude," the guy said, "I'm okay." Brian stopped the forklift, as he was taught, and then some sheets of metal slipped off of the forklift and cut the other man's head off.
The accident was ruled to be not his fault. He seems unfazed.
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(no subject)
Date: 2010-04-28 05:07 am (UTC)Hope your brother continues to be unfazed, that's a hell of a thing to see.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-04-28 05:10 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-04-28 05:53 am (UTC)Jesus Christ. ;_____;
(no subject)
Date: 2010-04-28 06:19 am (UTC)I just can't get myself into the mental world of people who live that way.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-04-28 01:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-04-28 02:20 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-04-28 03:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-04-28 09:42 pm (UTC)Poor little brother. Unfazed, you say? Wow... I think I would've been utterly horrified, then a little curious, then even more horrified.
: /
(no subject)
Date: 2010-04-28 11:30 pm (UTC)I feel bad for your brother and the supervisor and store manager who have to put up with that guy.