kleenexwoman: A caricature of me looking future-y.  (Sexier than you)
[personal profile] kleenexwoman
I had this dream that Michigan banned the sale of alcohol products. Alcohol was legal to own, distill, or drink, you just couldn't buy or sell it within state lines.

Most of the grocery stories and party stores just stopped selling it, or sold "non-alcoholic" beer or wine, or had some sort of arcane subscription service. But the Bottle & Barrel down the street adopted another strategy. They started selling fabric swatches, all different kinds, and giving away bottles of alcohol and cans of beer free with each swatch, depending on price. They even had a little chart up on the wall showing what kind of alcohol you got with each kind of fabric. Silks tended to be vodka, cotton was rum, wool blends were whiskey or scotch, and beer and wine were patterned polyester or lengths of yarn. I think they were selling paper samples for alcopops, like Mike's Hard Lemonade.

Coincidentally, we're going to the bar tonight for a friend's going-away party. \o/

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-26 01:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] josephwaldman.livejournal.com
Did you wake up screaming? Please tell me you did.

I tried making moonshine once. Smashed some grapes and left them to do their thing. After a couple days I had moldy smashed grapes. Maybe I needed to add sugar. Or just go buy three bottles of Boone's and not worry about the labor part of getting plastered.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-26 01:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kleenexwoman.livejournal.com
Just grapes aren't enough. You need fermenting agents--yeast and sugar. Try this recipe if you're that desperate. (http://hubpages.com/hub/PrisonWine)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-26 01:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] josephwaldman.livejournal.com
Recipe, schmecipe. (No, that was not faux-Yiddish. It was faux-drunken-slurred-speech.) I wanted to make moonshine. Not Dom Perignon. Or even Thunderbird.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-26 01:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] josephwaldman.livejournal.com
Ah . . . didn't read it before I replied. Yes, that'd do in a pinch. And making it in a toilet -- that's bathtub gin for a new generation. Although you're probably just gonna wind up puking it back up again (with a few extra chunks & surprises).

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