Eidechse.

[kleenexwoman]

Crap in a hat. I can't actually write this Chanukah fic. Half the point of the fic is Bob being Jewish--I thought that was fair game, since Bob's background seems to be pretty up for debate in fanon. Unfortunately, I just got done watching "Chasing Amy," something I haven't done in a few years, and Bob was raised Catholic. It's in that big OOC monologue he gives about Amy. There goes THAT.
How the hell else can I work Chanukah into a View Askewniverse story? How, I ask you? How how how? Seriously. I can't think of anything. No other major characters in the Askewniverse besides the ones in "Dogma" seem inclined to give a shit about religion even if they were Jewish. Chanukah took place about 800 AD, if I recall, and therefore has not even a tangential connection with anything having to do with Christianity or anything that would have taken place in "Dogma". Please, don't make me revert to Jay and Bob as Macabees. No. No no no no no. This was such a bad idea.
And this was shaping up to be a fairly OK story too. I figured out how to make Jay all SADD-depressed without being uncharacteristically angsty. I even worked in a "Cannibal: The Musical" reference, just because I could.
Hahaha. Who cares? What does it matter, in the great scheme of things, that I couldn't complete a simple little holiday fic for a challenge? Nothing. No. It doesn't matter. I will go on to bigger and better things. I have a much more productive existence in front of me. Alles ist gut and j_crew_guy will hopefully understand.

I am supposed to be doing German. I have to write a little story and read it in front of the class for my final exam. Here it is:
Es war einmal ein Prinz ohne einen Prinzessin. Er hat ein Frosch. Ihr Stiefmutter hat den Frosch geküsst. Wann hat sie es geküsst, der Frosch hat in ein Drache verwandelt. Der Drache hat die Steifmutter gegessen. Der König war traurig wann er hat gewusst, weil er hat keine Frau. Der Prinz war glücklich, und es hat der Drache geküsst. Der Drache hat in eine Hexe verwandelt. Die Hexe und der Prinz hat heiraten. Der König hat ein neue Frosch gekauft.
Translation:
Once upon a time there was a prince without a princess. He had a frog. His stepmother kissed the frog. When she kissed it, it turned into a dragon. The dragon ate the stepmother. The king was sad when he knew, because he didn't have a wife anymore. The prince was happy, and he kissed the dragon. The dragon turned into a witch. The witch and the prince got married. The king bought another frog.

No. I don't know, really. I'm so fucking tired. God, that story sounds like something a kindergartener would write. I'm going to go to bed and think about lizards.

Comments

[interactiveleaf.livejournal.com]

Bob

Gives

A

Monologue?!??!

Provide references? Or specifics? Or something? I'm dyin' over here.

[kleenexwoman.livejournal.com]

"Chasing Amy." They only have one scene, which in my opinion provides the best characterization of Jay: Holden is paying off Jay and Bob for "Bluntman and Chronic," and angsts to them a little about girl trouble. He's in love with a former lesbian who, he has just found out, has had sex with guys before. Bob tells a story about Amy, an old girlfriend of his whose former promiscuity he couldn't deal with, and he ended up dumping her and regretting it. He also wanted to be a dancer in Vegas--that doesn't have anything to do with the story, but I like that fact.
Slashers have theorized that Amy is actually a code word for Jay. I think he just made the story up. Everyone knows that Jay is his one true luv.

[diraskyria.livejournal.com]

Being raised Catholic doesn't mean anything. I was raised Catholic. And I was good at the whole Catholic thing for while, too.

[kleenexwoman.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but it was about Bob's Jewish heritage. I had a whole thing about the menorah and his grandmother. :sigh: Unless one of his parents was Jewish, and he just went to Catholic school. ...that might work...

[diraskyria.livejournal.com]

That could work nicely. I've seen that done before. There was a TV show about a Jewish girl who went to a Catholic school a while back (can't remember what it was called, was on the cheesy family channel, but I liked it). And Susan Sarandon's daughter played a Jewish girl at a Christian high school in Saved! ((God, I love that movie)).

I can attest that Catholic schools are typically high class education, because they're all private and can afford a lot that public schools can't.

just a thouhgt .......

[heyokah49.livejournal.com]

As i understand being jewish follows Matrlineal lines so Silent Bob having a Jewish grandmother wouldn't be too far fetched...and you could always have it that his father was Jewish and converted because Bob's mother was catholic. Thus Bob was raised catholic.

[lily-lemony.livejournal.com]

What about Banky/Brody as a Buddha figure?

Now you have me jonesing for Amy again. I just hear the movie title and get that great opening theme stuck in my head. :)

[kleenexwoman.livejournal.com]

Banky/Brody as a Buddha figure? Intriguing, but I don't quite see it. Explain?

[lily-lemony.livejournal.com]

He's sort of always there with the quip that sounds "off the cuff," but it's truly more "inner wisdom" than sarcasm most of the time.

I might also be a little biased. Banky and Brody are close to my perfect man...minus all that slacking. ;)

[kleenexwoman.livejournal.com]

That is so Zen. I wonder if I could get away with doing a thesis on this. Probably not.