Fuck You, I'm a Robot

I have a horrible confession to make. One of the reasons I decided on the college I attended (well, aside from the scholarship $$$ they poured on me -- seriously, they drove up to my house with a dump truck and almost smothered me in it) was because when I went there for my first visit during spring of my senior year of high school, I naturally wandered off to the library and discovered that they had -- get this -- the collected works of Joseph Stalin! Wow! Primary sources! And a bunch of other old books, too! Well, that settles it for me! All the Southfield library has is automotive books and Judaica! Ohio Wesleyan, here I come! (Big mistake.)