Fuck You, I'm a Robot

My fam ate out on occasion, meaning once or twice a month, with pizza or Chinese maybe twice as often. My father is a lousy cook except for bad spaghetti and the abovementioned salami scrambled eggs. My mom's cooking is okay but not terribly creative, and as my sister has pointed out, she has a very English style of preparing food: overcooked and unflavored. I can make basic guy foods: pretty good pasta, okay sandwich variations, and excellent canned goods.