Moo! Moo! Moo! I‘m voodoo cursing you!

Jesus fucking Christ, I forget to wash and comb my hair for one day and it's already growing baby squirrels. I let Giles and Spike chase them around the apartment for a while, but then Spike actually killed one and it disintegrated all over the kitchen floor and now it looks like a goddamn barbershop in there. I'm going to have to put them all out of doors...but it's winter and they'll freeze. But the Mt. Pleasant animal shelter doesn't take animals that are created by spontaneous generation. :( What to do?

I should probably feed the appliances today. The refrigerator will work pretty much forever on some ice water and a few freon treats, but the TV is really picky and gets staticky if you don't give it a new snack every week. I'm so sick of spending money on overpriced liquid light and weird metals and THEN spending like an hour simmering this volatile shit together just so I can watch "The Simpsons" without the goddamn set complaining. It's a good thing the heater only eats kibble.

Need to go shopping now. I'm nearly broke again and the squirrels ate just about everything in the cupboard. I wonder if Ric's will take hair squirrels in trade? I really, really want bread and butter, but I don't have enough room for a mini-cow. :(