I fear the lizard in your soul

I woke up too early. I feel very shaky.

Trying to re-jigger my schedule so I get every teacher I want. Apparently Roberson is the way to go for Lit Analysis, but he's not teaching that this year, so I dropped that & will save it for next year. Considering whether to keep Human Biology in favor of another class, but which one? Need to fill up this hole in my schedule.
Am wavering between dropping Modern Poetry for Victorian Literature and Thought. Am definitely considering it, because the Poetry prof, Ronnie Apter, apparently has insane grading policies, according to the cmu community. Also Modern Poetry seems to concentrate heavily on poets I already know and don't particularly care for. Including Ezra Pound, whom the good people at Poetry Collective (which I skipped this week in favor of chatting to Charlene, losing track of time) seem to have a major hate-on for. Victorian Literature it is. Let's hope Anne Alton is a good prof.

My final class schedule!

--Abnormal Psychology! Whee!
--Human Biology! Mwahahaha!
--Victorian Literature and Thought! Oooh!
--Masterpieces of Ancient Literature! Ahhhh!
--Developmental Psychology! Eeee!

And nothing before 12 AM.

Also, ghostgecko has re-posted his very thought-provoking rant about religion & apes & the Victorians--go read it, it's well-thought-out and interesting and reminds me that I need to read up on evolutionary psychology. (& which I was actually responsible for his deleting because I got hung up on the Victorian analogy & decided to nitpick...'cause, yes, I am an nitpicky argumentative idiot...but, you know, at least now other people can read it, which is good.)

Er. Having trouble with next scene in book still. Spiff intimidating Douglas in the hallway. I keep having to restrain myself from just writing porn. (Damn you Charlene.) & also because I've just had so little actual experience with physical intimidation...that stuff stopped after grade school, for the most part, & the most I got in terms of anything physical in middle school or high school was your average spitballs-in-the-hair, hiding-the-books kind of stuff. (Although I did have one kid in 11th grade History class tell me: "I hate you so much, if you were a boy, I'd kick your ass.") Which is kind of immature for a scary greaser--I do want to make him as genuinely dangerous as possible. Having trouble striking a balance between big dumb lug & cunning lizard-thing, & also what Spiff really wants...he's a lizard, he doesn't exactly just want Douglas's lunch money. What do bullies want? Submission? How do they know when they've got it? That was always the trouble in high school, I just wanted to submit & get it over with quickly. But nooo, they try to make you fight...trying to channel that for the story, because I imagine Spiff would try to make Douglas fight, but can't totally grok how to make it so. Rented "Rebel Without A Cause" on ghostgecko's recommendation & am still scratching my head over this.

There aren't any bullies in my life anymore, though. Which is a shock, now that I think about it. What am I supposed to do? Who do I submit to? People I actually love? Am I allowed to have an alpha?
Attn. to the monkey in my hindbrain: Plz fuck off & stop making me cringe. David Brin says I'm not supposed to want to be the lower rung in a hierarchal society, being an enlightened human & all.