Rachel (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kleenexwoman) wrote2005-06-14 04:27 am
kleenexwoman) wrote2005-06-14 04:27 am
holy shit it's morning
Curse the demons that plague my computer. I spend a month at Mom's wishing I had wireless so that I could use Yahoo Instant Messenger, and then the wireless craps out on me every time I get into a conversation with someone I like. Now it's working for the Internet, but Yahoo isn't working. Again. I hereby apologize to everyone who I've suddenly deserted online, and to those whom I shall suddenly desert in the future. Remember: It's not you, it's not me, it's my fucking connection.
Research continues; I've checked out several books on quantum mechanics and am trying to get through the first chapters. The weird thing is that I distinctly remember checking one of these out in 8th grade and understanding every word. Is this a false memory? Has my brain deteriorated to the point where I can no longer understand concepts my 13-year-old self could grasp? Or was I just so dumb in middle school that I thought I could understand quantum mechanics when in reality I knew nothing?
Also have plans to head up to the Scientology church on Friday, one of my days off, and take some notes. Don't worry, I'm not going to be brainwashed. This is for research entirely. Anyone in the area that cares to go with me is totally welcome.
I have way too many days off this week, really. The time I have spent at work was devoted to me standing out practically in the street, wearing a plastic bag over my work shirt and waving around a huge oblong "EAT AT QUIZNOS YAY" sign that was constructed in such a fashion as to catch every gust of wind that comes along, and it was damn windy today. Nor do they pay me extra for this.
Because I have nothing else to write about, here is a short list of things I recommend:
1.) Sudoku, a Japanese number grid game which is surprisingly addictive and also surprisingly easy. The Free Press started running it as part of their new layout (which really sucks ass except for the new game and extra pages of comics), and I've become quite good at it in the last week. The grid consists of a 9x9 square with some digits from 1 to 9 filled in; you're supposed to fill in each line, row, and 3x3 square with the digits fro 1 to 9, no repeats. It requires much less esoteric knowledge than, say, a crossword puzzle, and is easy to do over tea and bagels.
2.) Being There, a movie with Peter Sellers and Shirley MacLaine before she became crazy. Watched it on HBO as part of Family Bonding Night with Dad. The plot is pretty simple: Retarded gardener gets kicked out of home, becomes best friend of ruthless capitalist pig-bastard, and eventually becomes advisor to president. Like Forrest Gump, only it doesn't SUCK SENTIMENTALIST BALLS. Chauncy, the main character, rises in power not because of the universal truth of his simple-yet-pure 'tard insights, but because the supposedly intelligent people around him are too dumb and self-absorbed to realize that his platitudes about gardens and the seasons are not metaphors for the American economy, but actual advice about gardening. An excellent, gently satirical look at The Idiots In Charge and How They Get There.
3.) Quality dairy products. I say this because things like half-and-half, and organic butter have suddenly become quite important to me. Ever since coming back home, I've been subsisting mainly on toast, tea, and cheese sandwiches. Even really good bread, the kind Mom gets at the Eastern Market, tastes rancid and nasty with cheap plastic butter. Tea is weak and tastes of straw if you use skim milk, and nondairy creamer, when added to coffee, tastes like snot.
4.) Paul Auster. I really cannot stress this enough. I've added him to my list of idols. Even his bad books are good. I've been reading nothing but his books all week; they're like potato chips. Or, actually, like raspberries, because potato chips make you fat and all that grease tastes nasty after a while.
5.) Fresh raspberries. They are in season, juicy and sweet, and cost $1 a carton at the Eastern Market. I bought a carton for myself and refused to share.
6.) Ruthless Reviews, the only review website I take seriously. Intelligent, satirical, and not afraid in the least to rip films, music, books, and viewpoints that everyone else seems to like. I seldom find myself disagreeing with the reviews and essays, and I've bought several excellent books and albums based solely on some of the reviews. This rant on the "Ten Most Harmful Books of the 19th and 20th Centuries" is particularly interesting and slightly paranoia-inducing.
Rachel's Top Ten Most Dangerous Books Ever, and Reasons Why:
1. "Monsters Of Hawaii." A book I drew in 2nd grade art class which earned me a visit to the counselor's office because all the humans got eaten at the end. I just wanted to write a story with a happy ending...
2. "Cinderella and her Sisters." When I was 6, I tried to read it to my little brother, who was then 3. He grabbed it off my lap and hit me on the head with it so hard that I started bleeding. Definitely hazardous.
3. The Necronomicon Ex Mortuus. When read out loud, can summon demons that will proceed to possess you, your friends, and the woods outside. Can also create time portals. Do not read unless you are Bruce Campbell.
4. Jack Chick tracts. May cause you to rupture internal organs from laughter.
5. The D&D game manual, version 3.5. If your DM only has 3.0, the small-but-important differences in the spell levels may cause your mage to die, get resurrected, and then die again. Not so fun.
6. The Beatles Anthology. Has a naked picture of Yoko Ono on page 300. May cause temporary blindness.
7. The Bible. What, you didn't see this coming?
8. The Harry Potter series. Takes over people's lives. Here are some examples of how.
9. "Naked Lunch", by William S. Burroughs, but only if your mom finds it in your room with a bookmark in the gay-sex-with-aliens part. Note to self: Find better hiding place for subversive literary masterpieces.
10. My 11th grade algebra textbook. I almost failed that class, dammit.
Research continues; I've checked out several books on quantum mechanics and am trying to get through the first chapters. The weird thing is that I distinctly remember checking one of these out in 8th grade and understanding every word. Is this a false memory? Has my brain deteriorated to the point where I can no longer understand concepts my 13-year-old self could grasp? Or was I just so dumb in middle school that I thought I could understand quantum mechanics when in reality I knew nothing?
Also have plans to head up to the Scientology church on Friday, one of my days off, and take some notes. Don't worry, I'm not going to be brainwashed. This is for research entirely. Anyone in the area that cares to go with me is totally welcome.
I have way too many days off this week, really. The time I have spent at work was devoted to me standing out practically in the street, wearing a plastic bag over my work shirt and waving around a huge oblong "EAT AT QUIZNOS YAY" sign that was constructed in such a fashion as to catch every gust of wind that comes along, and it was damn windy today. Nor do they pay me extra for this.
Because I have nothing else to write about, here is a short list of things I recommend:
1.) Sudoku, a Japanese number grid game which is surprisingly addictive and also surprisingly easy. The Free Press started running it as part of their new layout (which really sucks ass except for the new game and extra pages of comics), and I've become quite good at it in the last week. The grid consists of a 9x9 square with some digits from 1 to 9 filled in; you're supposed to fill in each line, row, and 3x3 square with the digits fro 1 to 9, no repeats. It requires much less esoteric knowledge than, say, a crossword puzzle, and is easy to do over tea and bagels.
2.) Being There, a movie with Peter Sellers and Shirley MacLaine before she became crazy. Watched it on HBO as part of Family Bonding Night with Dad. The plot is pretty simple: Retarded gardener gets kicked out of home, becomes best friend of ruthless capitalist pig-bastard, and eventually becomes advisor to president. Like Forrest Gump, only it doesn't SUCK SENTIMENTALIST BALLS. Chauncy, the main character, rises in power not because of the universal truth of his simple-yet-pure 'tard insights, but because the supposedly intelligent people around him are too dumb and self-absorbed to realize that his platitudes about gardens and the seasons are not metaphors for the American economy, but actual advice about gardening. An excellent, gently satirical look at The Idiots In Charge and How They Get There.
3.) Quality dairy products. I say this because things like half-and-half, and organic butter have suddenly become quite important to me. Ever since coming back home, I've been subsisting mainly on toast, tea, and cheese sandwiches. Even really good bread, the kind Mom gets at the Eastern Market, tastes rancid and nasty with cheap plastic butter. Tea is weak and tastes of straw if you use skim milk, and nondairy creamer, when added to coffee, tastes like snot.
4.) Paul Auster. I really cannot stress this enough. I've added him to my list of idols. Even his bad books are good. I've been reading nothing but his books all week; they're like potato chips. Or, actually, like raspberries, because potato chips make you fat and all that grease tastes nasty after a while.
5.) Fresh raspberries. They are in season, juicy and sweet, and cost $1 a carton at the Eastern Market. I bought a carton for myself and refused to share.
6.) Ruthless Reviews, the only review website I take seriously. Intelligent, satirical, and not afraid in the least to rip films, music, books, and viewpoints that everyone else seems to like. I seldom find myself disagreeing with the reviews and essays, and I've bought several excellent books and albums based solely on some of the reviews. This rant on the "Ten Most Harmful Books of the 19th and 20th Centuries" is particularly interesting and slightly paranoia-inducing.
Rachel's Top Ten Most Dangerous Books Ever, and Reasons Why:
1. "Monsters Of Hawaii." A book I drew in 2nd grade art class which earned me a visit to the counselor's office because all the humans got eaten at the end. I just wanted to write a story with a happy ending...
2. "Cinderella and her Sisters." When I was 6, I tried to read it to my little brother, who was then 3. He grabbed it off my lap and hit me on the head with it so hard that I started bleeding. Definitely hazardous.
3. The Necronomicon Ex Mortuus. When read out loud, can summon demons that will proceed to possess you, your friends, and the woods outside. Can also create time portals. Do not read unless you are Bruce Campbell.
4. Jack Chick tracts. May cause you to rupture internal organs from laughter.
5. The D&D game manual, version 3.5. If your DM only has 3.0, the small-but-important differences in the spell levels may cause your mage to die, get resurrected, and then die again. Not so fun.
6. The Beatles Anthology. Has a naked picture of Yoko Ono on page 300. May cause temporary blindness.
7. The Bible. What, you didn't see this coming?
8. The Harry Potter series. Takes over people's lives. Here are some examples of how.
9. "Naked Lunch", by William S. Burroughs, but only if your mom finds it in your room with a bookmark in the gay-sex-with-aliens part. Note to self: Find better hiding place for subversive literary masterpieces.
10. My 11th grade algebra textbook. I almost failed that class, dammit.
Re: Mmm mmm mmm? Toasty?
Do not let them give you mayonnaise. Quiznos mayo is nasty and makes people sick.
And I actually get $6.50 an hour...Quiznos is surprisingly generous sometimes.
Re: Mmm mmm mmm? Toasty?
"We need some more secret sauce. Go put this tub of mayonaise out in the sub." -- Manager to fast-food worker drone, "The Simpsons"
Man oh man, $6.50? That's way more than I ever made at a college summer job. Even when they upped me to warehouse manager at Michaels briefly (I didn't last long; they wanted someone to replace the sweet little old lady who was having trouble hauling boxes around because she had a heart problem, and I was more than willing to help out; but when three carts full of merchandise vanished over to the framing department before they I could even log them in . . .), I was only pulling in about $5.85.
Best crap job I ever had was at a little independent movie theater when I was living in Ohio the summer before my senior year. I think they actually paid the bare minimum ($5.15), but I got into movies for free all while I was working there and throughout the next school year; popcorn and candy were free for the taking (it's amazing how, living on a diet of nothing but heart-clogging-buttered popcorn and cookie dough bites, you can still lose twenty pounds over three months; and I eventually wound up in a hot-n-heavy relationship with one of my co-workers. So there were some fringe benefits.
Re: Mmm mmm mmm? Toasty?
I've got a submarine mission for you, baby . . . -- Johnny Rotten. Profound, maaaaaaan.
Mmm mmm mmm! Toasty!
So, kudos to Quizno's. They'll be my choice for subs from here on out whenever I'm feeling flush with cash and can afford to forego Subway.
Re: Mmm mmm mmm! Toasty!
We actually did have a Spongmonkey working at our shop, but we had to fire it because it scared customers away. Poor thing.
Re: Mmm mmm mmm! Toasty!
We all live in a yellow submarine (sandwich) / yellow submarine (sandwich) / yellow submarine (sandwich) / Mmm . . . fattening.