Rachel (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kleenexwoman) wrote2004-12-11 06:38 am
kleenexwoman) wrote2004-12-11 06:38 am
Entry tags:
A great deal of weirdness with the ex. Not Cthulhu-grade weirdness, but still a little strange.
Tonight was, to say the least, interesting.
The night started out with my ex-girlfriend informing me that she had created an online journal and inviting me to view it. Apparently, she was pissed. Very pissed. Flaming from the nose, so to speak, mainly because of Daniel's orgy joke. I've posted more offensive things in my journal, so I'm not entirely sure why she chose that one to pick on. Was it the mention of stuffed squirrels?
She is also of the firm belief that ancient Greek goddesses talk to her inside her head and were advising her on what to do with me. She got highly offended when I implied (okay, came out and stated, probably rather harshly) that it sounded like schizophrenia to me. (Piety, insanity, what's the difference? I rethink that now--reality and truth again, remember? If sanity is proximity to reality then is insanity proximity to truth, or is it just a special kind of insanity? In any case classical definitions of both no longer seem to apply.)
She was going on about a spell she intended to cast in order to erase all memories of me and of the relationship from her mind (anyone who has seen "Eternal Sunshine Of the Spotless Mind" should be able to see the problems in this scheme) and telling me about her mental shields, when she happened to mention some advice that a friend of hers had given her. This triggered a strong, short feeling of deja vu within me. I mentioned this to Tammy, and...
For those of you who I haven't mentioned this to, I get deja vu at the stupidest times. This isn't "wow, something like this has happened to me before" deja vu, either. I'll have dreams, forget about them, and then something will happen months later which exactly mirrors the events in the dream, at which point I will remember the dream--hence the deja vu. It's annoying as hell when it happens, and it's never anything constructive--usually something small like pouring sand out of my shoe or hitting a Koosh ball. I occasionally try to change the events, if they go on long enough. Just to see what happens. When I do this, I inevitably get confused as to whether I dreamed myself trying to change the events. I've been told that this is my memory of the dream changing as the thing that happened changed. (Time travel in real life, hooray--but I'd rather have a DeLorean than the occasional mental temporal displacement.)
ETA: Any nice, rational, neurophysical explanation for this type of deja vu would be dearly welcomed.
In this case, I'd had a dream where Tammy and I had been broken up and she had been telling me about advice that particular friend gave her. The dream had happened before Tammy and I had even been in a relationship, and I had dismissed it as a typically Freudian wish-fulfillment dream at the time. I mentioned this to Tammy, offhandedly, who immediately (well, actually it was after some amount of her clamming up and me being pushy) identified it as "mental memory telepathy." Okay. Well. Apparently it is a rare and treasured gift and mine is the strongest she's ever seen.
Now comes the really, really, really WTF part. Tammy made the decision that she would take it upon herself to "burn my gift out." I'm not sure how she would have done this, but I was naturally incensed at the idea. I didn't see what right she had to try to take away what is apparently some kind of freaky psychic power that I've got, and I told her so.
Eventually, she agreed to teach me how to control the power. Not sure how this is going to work out online, but...ok.
I don't know what to do about all this except to take it in stride and see what happens. At the very least, I'll get to do a lot of meditating. At the very most, I'll start to develop psychic powers and probably either be really freaked out and convert to Wicca or put on a spandex costume and go around fighting crime.
The night started out with my ex-girlfriend informing me that she had created an online journal and inviting me to view it. Apparently, she was pissed. Very pissed. Flaming from the nose, so to speak, mainly because of Daniel's orgy joke. I've posted more offensive things in my journal, so I'm not entirely sure why she chose that one to pick on. Was it the mention of stuffed squirrels?
She is also of the firm belief that ancient Greek goddesses talk to her inside her head and were advising her on what to do with me. She got highly offended when I implied (okay, came out and stated, probably rather harshly) that it sounded like schizophrenia to me. (Piety, insanity, what's the difference? I rethink that now--reality and truth again, remember? If sanity is proximity to reality then is insanity proximity to truth, or is it just a special kind of insanity? In any case classical definitions of both no longer seem to apply.)
She was going on about a spell she intended to cast in order to erase all memories of me and of the relationship from her mind (anyone who has seen "Eternal Sunshine Of the Spotless Mind" should be able to see the problems in this scheme) and telling me about her mental shields, when she happened to mention some advice that a friend of hers had given her. This triggered a strong, short feeling of deja vu within me. I mentioned this to Tammy, and...
For those of you who I haven't mentioned this to, I get deja vu at the stupidest times. This isn't "wow, something like this has happened to me before" deja vu, either. I'll have dreams, forget about them, and then something will happen months later which exactly mirrors the events in the dream, at which point I will remember the dream--hence the deja vu. It's annoying as hell when it happens, and it's never anything constructive--usually something small like pouring sand out of my shoe or hitting a Koosh ball. I occasionally try to change the events, if they go on long enough. Just to see what happens. When I do this, I inevitably get confused as to whether I dreamed myself trying to change the events. I've been told that this is my memory of the dream changing as the thing that happened changed. (Time travel in real life, hooray--but I'd rather have a DeLorean than the occasional mental temporal displacement.)
ETA: Any nice, rational, neurophysical explanation for this type of deja vu would be dearly welcomed.
In this case, I'd had a dream where Tammy and I had been broken up and she had been telling me about advice that particular friend gave her. The dream had happened before Tammy and I had even been in a relationship, and I had dismissed it as a typically Freudian wish-fulfillment dream at the time. I mentioned this to Tammy, offhandedly, who immediately (well, actually it was after some amount of her clamming up and me being pushy) identified it as "mental memory telepathy." Okay. Well. Apparently it is a rare and treasured gift and mine is the strongest she's ever seen.
Now comes the really, really, really WTF part. Tammy made the decision that she would take it upon herself to "burn my gift out." I'm not sure how she would have done this, but I was naturally incensed at the idea. I didn't see what right she had to try to take away what is apparently some kind of freaky psychic power that I've got, and I told her so.
Eventually, she agreed to teach me how to control the power. Not sure how this is going to work out online, but...ok.
I don't know what to do about all this except to take it in stride and see what happens. At the very least, I'll get to do a lot of meditating. At the very most, I'll start to develop psychic powers and probably either be really freaked out and convert to Wicca or put on a spandex costume and go around fighting crime.