kleenexwoman: A caricature of me looking future-y.  (Default)
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At this point, most of them. I celebrate Christmas with my mother, because it's her holiday. I celebrate Chanukah with my father's family, because it's a holiday about anti-assimilation and resistance and also I love latkes. Now I celebrate Yule because most of my friends are pagan.

My own holiday is Hogswatch. It means as much to me as any winter holiday does, in a completely different way. As fiction it encompasses the heart of belief.
kleenexwoman: A blonde man without a shirt, wearing a space helment and lightning bolt sash (Pulp hero)
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The Adventures of Raygun Rachel in the Third Dimension.
kleenexwoman: A caricature of me looking future-y.  (Life in coffee spoons)
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--Chicken gorgonzola from Ciao Amici in Brighton, with their delicious bread and pesto and a nice glass of Cascinetta Vietti Moscato d'Asti. Creme brulee and tiramisu for dessert. This is if I really want to do it up and feel fancy.

--A big fat Reuben from Ronnie's Deli with a chocolate egg cream and all the new pickles I can eat. This is if it's lunchtime.

--Homemade corned beef hash with two eggs over easy, rye toast (white rye, not the stuff with caraway seeds), and good strong coffee. This is if it's breakfast time.

--Kielbasa, sauerkraut, galumpke, pierogis, and a tall glass of Boston Black Porter from the Great Baraboo Brewing Company. This is if it's dinnertime.

--My grandma's chicken soup with matzah balls, homemade gefilte fish with horseradish, charoset, and Red Rose tea with lots of sugar and milk. This is if I want to reconnect with my ancestors.

--A cheese and fruit plate: Goat cheese and water crackers with heirloom cherry tomatoes (bright green and orange-yellow), bleu cheese and whole wheat crackers with Concord grapes, buttery brie and raw cheddar on soft French bread with strawberries and raspberries, with a couple of bottles of Woodchuck cider to wash it down. This is for the afternoon on a nice sunny day.
kleenexwoman: A caricature of me looking future-y.  (Default)
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10th grade, art class. I wandered down to the vending machines in the cafeteria to get a Dr Pepper. While I was struggling with the malevolent, sentient pop machine, the principal wandered by, talking on a walkie-talkie. "An explosion. They don't know if it was an accident. They think it was a plane...yeah, a plane." When I got back to class with my Dr Pepper, the TVs were on and everyone was freaking out.

We weren't let out of the classroom for three hours, and then we all had to go home. The bus dropped me off and I walked home watching the sky.
kleenexwoman: A caricature of me looking future-y.  (Default)
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If I really thought the world would end, I'd be skipping work to go join my uncles, aunts, and cousins at Relay for Life, which is happening literally in my backyard. But the world isn't ending, and I can't skip work, so I went to keep them company for an hour before work and I shall visit them again after work.
kleenexwoman: A caricature of me looking future-y.  (Fritz Rasp sees what you did there)
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Eight types of mustard )

Unrelated to the food: If anybody is planning to be in the Detroit area next weekend, THIS is going on Saturday night. Tickets are expensive, but fence-hopping is encouraged. I will be there. Free beer will also be there.

I have seriously been partying a lot. I went to another steampunk dance party the other night and was exhausted when I came home. It was a fantastic time, because my idea of a fun party is EXACTLY dressing as a flapper and doing the Chicken Dance to an original Scott Joplin player piano recording while people dressed like pirates and toy soldiers waltz around you and a cowboy and a mad scientist share a clove cigarette out back. I think I'm trying to get in my party time while I still can, before my schedule makes it impossible for me to do anything with anyone ever.
kleenexwoman: A caricature of me looking future-y.  (Cars will have fins)
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Screw DeLoreans, they're assembled in Ireland. Buy American, bitches! (Or Detroit will become even more postapocalyptic than it already is.) I did have an idea for a time-traveling CD player long before I read [livejournal.com profile] foxywriter's books--the "Forward" button took you forward, the "Back" button took you back, the "Pause" button paused time around you, the "Shuffle" button took you somewhere random, the "Repeat" button put you in a time loop...and you don't ever want to press "Stop."

For the sake of laying low, I'd probably have to go with a fixed-gear bicycle--low-tech, easy to fix if you're stranded somewhere, and portable. For the sake of "running away from danger" type issues, I'd fix it up with an inertia manipulator for the pedals. And a little bell so that you could warn people to get out of your way. Oooh, and streamers on the handlebars!

If you want to actually travel in style, DeLoreans are still boxy as hell and only come in two colors, each uglier than the last. Go with a 1959 Cadillac if you want to look really cool (those are its tailfins in my icon, right there). However, for basic beauty, style, and customization, you want to go with an iconic and beautifully designed Bel-Air--my preference is usualy a '57, but a '59 has the wacky taillights appropriate to a time-traveling machine. My god, cars in the late 1950s were gorgeous. Monsters of gas-guzzling and needless chrome, sure, but absolutely stunning in their conspicuous consumption.

What was I talking about? Oh, yeah. A time-traveling hipsterbike practically screams "I take Cat and Girl very, very seriously!", while a restored Caddy or Bel-Air (or, heck, if you can already time-travel, just go back and get a brand-new one) screams, "I'm nostalgic for a time that I don't even remember!" A trinket or wearable object like a ring or shoes would work nicely and be inconspicuous (unless you had a pair of Nikes or something dumb like that), but those run a high risk of being stolen, misplaced, or broken.

Anyway, ultimately I'd probably get a custom design by Apple, probably some kind of glowing white sphere that made me look like an angel and would get anyone in the past to obey and listen to me instantly (by dint of being a heavenly sphere). I'm not much of a Mac person, but their stuff just looks so futuristic that it's hard to resist. I suppose the controls would be one of those spinny wheels, but be careful--if you swirl your finger around it too hard, you'll overshoot and end up past the death of the universe.

That, or I'd get GM to design a concept car--the GM Chronora!--complete with a pickup bed, bubble window cab, extremely powerful headlights, built-in GPS and TPS (temporal positioning system), four-wheel drive, acid-resistant body, anti-velociraptor system, and antibiotic holder. And tailfins. Can't forget the tailfins.
kleenexwoman: A caricature of me looking future-y.  (Mars wants bubble gum)
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RAY BRADBURY, OH MY GOD. He is one of the greatest writers of the 20th century and one of my biggest inspirations. There are a ton of authors I would like to exchange parts of my brain with--I'd love the playfulness of e.e. cummings or the deep philosophical strangeness of Philip K. Dick or the unique voice of Neal Stephenson or the sparse eroticism of Anais Nin or even the childlike surreality of Kelly Link...but the way Bradbury mixes a sense of wonder with the deep macabre is just my favorite thing ever.
kleenexwoman: A caricature of me looking future-y.  (Crazy cat)
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MY INNER ANIMAL IS A LEMUR. Apparently a couple of the furries I play D&D with have decided it is a cat, because I purr when scritched. (Objection: I do not purr, I just go "Mmmm." Purring is therapeutic, going "Mmmm" just means I'm either being cossetted or eating a banana split or trying to do math in my head.) However, LEMURS ALSO PURR. POINT: LEMURS.

They're odd little beings with big floofy tails. They are like monkeys, but are also not like monkeys, because they are a little bit like squirrels. They like fruit. They are good at jumping from tree to tree and also good at hopping up and down like crazy things and also good at lazing about.


although if I did wake up an animal I might want to be a kitty, because lemur lives can be sort of difficult in the wild, but kitties with good homes basically get to laze about and be petted and eat and nobody tells them they have to go to work or clean.
kleenexwoman: A caricature of me looking future-y.  (Do not attempt to adjust the picture.)
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I would have a television station, because I don't really listen to the radio anymore. It would be called WREW. The programming would be split equally between cartoons from the late 80's/early-to-mid 90's, and homoerotic buddy cop-type shows from every era (and by equally I mean one hour of cartoons, one hour of secret agents making moony eyes at each other, rinse, repeat). On the weekends, we would switch it up a little and air instructional and informational filmstrips in between episodes of sketch comedy shows. The only commercials would be along the lines of these, acted out in 30-second spots by anyone who cared to wander into the studio and shoot one.

In other news: I just got back from a job interview at a supermarket and I will know if I've gotten the job by tomorrow. Today, clean the bathroom, get my blinker looked at, buy more power steering fluid, and do all of this in time to go with Dad to visit my grandma. Then I need to fold a month's worth of clean laundry (and I got a package with KILL BILL SHOTGLASSES AND ASSLOADS OF DELICIOUS TEA from [livejournal.com profile] majorenglishesq! which reminds me that I also need to go to the post office, wooo).

Life is so hard, yes it is.
kleenexwoman: A caricature of me looking future-y.  (Vintage me)
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Luck with dice and cards. A predilection towards wanderlust and storytelling. High intelligence and artistic ability. A touch of neurosis on the female side and a touch of aspieness on the male side (I got both!). Diabetes, breast cancer, and a short attention span. And a lovely necklace I got from my great-grandma.

Nobody gets any of these things, except for the necklace, which will go to my closest female relative when I die.


kleenexwoman: A caricature of me looking future-y.  (Default)

April 2015

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