my girlfriend is amazing. i have never fell for anyone this fast before. the wine she brought me helps me not care about arguments about jesus. clearly jesus, despite being against gay marriage or something, gave me my girlfriend like he fixed some random lady's van. i don't think jesus fixes vans, that's what mechanics are for, but i can accept that a random and unknowable deific consciousness provided me with immense good luck in my life so that i can do something amazing with it. i hope i can measure up.